So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
