i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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