I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
