This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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