I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
