I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
