why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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