Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
