I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
