Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
