Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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