I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
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