member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
