just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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