is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
