so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
is wine microwaveable?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
