Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
