How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize