So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
In America we eat man semen.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
