He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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