He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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