You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
