If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
