I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
