I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
not ubering you a puppy
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize