I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize