Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
My Higher Power is John Stamos
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
