just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Come see our sink grown plant.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
