Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
