Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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