Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
