So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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