I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
