At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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