yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
