I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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