That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Randomize
