so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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