im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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