I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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