super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
