Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
