When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
