am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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