Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize