Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm at about main and main street
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
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