This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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