Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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