told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
