Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize