direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
