I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
