she was so not down for the gang bang
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
