We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
