And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i just wanna soil my oats bro
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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