Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
