Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
