I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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