"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
literally had 100 drinks last night.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
