I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize